Aaron Ewer

Funny how we were just talking about this the other night and then yesterday I come across a story in the daily newspaper about the very same thing: concocted words.

I hear words in everyday conversations that drive me nuts because there is not such word. For example: conversate. I’ve never heard a white person use this word in a sentence but I hear it more and more and it gets under my skin so bad I want to slap the person using it and put a “stupid sign” around their neck.

The press is guilty of a lot of this concoction. Words like “Brangelina” and “Baby Bump” are ridiculous and yet these smiling talking boobs toss them about in all the celebrity gossip shows and columns. I’m so sick of it!

Read these forum comments from the Chicago Tribune site for other concocted words. You will be surprised at the hundreds of responses to their question, “What made-up word drives you nuts?”

For all the doomsayers I don’t think this hurricane season has been any where near as bad as they were predicting. Here it is almost August and they are only up to the letter “D” for Dolly, which is threatening the southern Texas and Mexicans shores of the Gulf of Mexico.

Don’t take me wrong - I’m all for a low impact hurricane season. What I’m saying is I’m sick of these so called experts being sought out to grandiousely pronounce that we’re going to have major weather-related tragedies. Surely there are experts that were also saying that this season will not be very bad, but that’s just not sensational enough to make the news.

I’m sick of the news media channeling my thoughts and concerns with all the doom and gloom. They need to focus on what is actually happening and report the facts - not opinions and not advice.

My cell phone is too much for me to handle. I have to admit it, but I hate no idea ow to use three quarters of the features and options that are on it. I don’t even know how to take a picture with the damn thing.

Although I’m not that big a fan of the downloaded ringtones and fancy wallpapers, I came across a website that had a really catchy tune that was available as a downloadable ringtone. So, I thought, “It will be pretty unique and even maybe a conversation starter, so I’ll give it a try.” There were multiple screens and info fields to fill in, so I worked my way through mot of them. Then it came down to the question of which type of cell phone do I have? Well, on the front of the phone it says, “Nokia” and that is all it says anywhere on the phone or in the 4 thousand option menus built into the phone display. I have absolutely no idea what damn model number this is and no idea of how to find out.

So forget about the cute ringtone I wanted. I guess I should feel fortunate that the damn thing rings any tune at all and allows me to talk on it.

Open letter to Don Imus,

Dude - wake up. You are a bigot in denial.

You need to attend some racial and diversity sensitivity training because bad things keep coming out of your mouth on the radio.

And you know what? I would respect you more if you stood by your words, however illspoken, rather than listen to you stutter and stammer and apologize and try to backpedal on what you said.

Last night I covered a carrier route for someone who had an emergency and couldn’t report to work. It was an interesting experience to be driving around the neighborhoods in the “Land of Excess.” I have to say that you can learn quite a bit about people by observing their homes at 4:00 am when they are sleeping or away.

This time of year one of the hard parts of a carrier’s job is keeping track of who has gone away on vacation and who has come back. I had to start a chart on a white board to keep up with all these wealthy travelers.

The hardest part of this job for someone new to the route is hunting and finding the right houses and driveways. Even in this “Land of Excess” there are people who use the cheapest stick on numbers they can find to put their house number on their mailbox, and it is interesting to see over the course of a few weeks which numbers fall off and which homeowners care not to replace the numbers.

Many mailboxes, the primary way to determine a home’s address, have vines and flowers growing up and over the the post and the box which completely cover or obstruct the numbers. Some boxes have no numbers at all - the homeowner has chosen to nail individual brass or painted numbers onto their garage door or adjacent to the entrance door. Try finding those numbers from the street in the dark and in the rain!

The state needs to pass a law requiring all buildings to be located on a named street or road (not just a highway route number) and to display their numbered address in a manner that will be visible from the road, in the dark and in the rain. The numbers need to be large, bright, reflective and easy to see by a driver coming from both directions of the road. In case of an emergency, this could easily save lives.